Cow and Platypus

Out of a clear blue sky, a drop of butter once landed on a cow's nose.

"What's this?!" said the cow.

"Oh, the sun is a waffle," said a passing platypus, "It occasionally drips butter and syrup."

"Then why did cream land on my tail yesterday?"

"That was the mashed potato clouds."

"Hey!" said the cow, "You're a platypus! How am I talking to you?!"

"You're standing next to a river," said the platypus calmly.

"Fancy, I never saw it there before," said the cow.

The cow and the platypus looked at each other and wondered what to say next. It was awkward. Suddenly, the cow tripped on a flower and fell in the river. This resulted in the following dialog:

"Oh dear are stupid flower you alright well I didn't you'd think know a cow could be flowers more delicate were so resilient well they say strength lies in beautLOOKOUTAROCK! AHHHHH! *SPLASH* heeheehEEHEEHAheeHEHAHAHAHA!"

Lady Night had ate up the sun before they could speak "properly."

"I am sorry*hic*for the tid*hic*al waves," said the cow.

"It's al*hic*right. I was wet*hic*anyhow*hic*," said the platypus.

"And I was*HIC*hot anyhow."

"HAH*HIC*HAHA*hic*HAHaheeheeheeeeeee"

And that's how Cow and Platypus became friends.

Salad Laughs

And now for a joke. Groaning is permitted.

What did the salad say before dinner?

Rolling Orange

Once upon a time
there was an orange.
The orange rolled across the grass
until it bumped into an orange tree.
Then it stopped and did nothing
because it was an orange.

The End.

But is it?

The orange flew through the air
and kissed a different orange hanging on the orange tree.
The oranges spun and
sailed into a rose bush.
Then the orange and orangette
sat by each other until the end of time.

The Beginning.

Lunchtime Fruit

"This orange looks like a pear." he said, as he sat down and ate two. 

 ("He" is my father and he did say those words, but he ate only one.)

Beans and Cornbread

This one "came to me" tonight.

Beans and cornbread taste so good!
Beans and cornbread yes you should!
Beans and cornbread dig right in!
Beans and cornbread on your chin!
Beans and cornbread are so neat!
Beans and cornbread what a treat!
Beans and cornbread yum yum yum!
Beans and cornbread in your tum!

Now then, if you didn't read that in a sing-song-happy-thought-voice you have failed. Please try again.