Cow and Platypus Consider

For Aunt Amy, my favorite Lunch Lady/Librarian


Out of a rosy sunrise sky, a blueberry bagel once ringed itself on a cow's horn.

"What's this?!" said Cow.

"Oh, that's just the eagles harvesting breakfast," said Platypus.

"Well, now I have a bagel on my horn," grumbled Cow, "And I can't even eat it."

"We should ask the lunch lady what to do."

"Lunch ladies don't know anything about breakfast! Besides, they're mean."

"You're jumping to conclusions."

"I'm not jumping to anything!"

"Are too!"

Cow and Platypus looked at each other and considered a water fight. After all, that would make the bagel soggy and likely to fall off.

Suddenly, a voice said, "You should consider the librarian."

Cow and Platypus shrieked and yelled, "A LIBRARIAN?! WHERE?!"

"Right here," said the librarian.

"AHHHHHHHAHHHAHHHHHHHAHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The librarian eyed Cow and Platypus over her glasses and placed a finger to her lips.

"NOOOOOO DON'T SAYshhhhhhhhh!"

Cow and Platypus gasped and held their breath.

The librarian smiled sweetly and said, "Now, how can I help you?"

"Cow has a bagel on her horn," said Platypus, "and I don't have hands."

The librarian took the bagel off Cow's horn and they all had a snack of toasted blueberry bagel with cream cheese.

"That was a nice librarian," said Cow, as the librarian walked away.

The librarian turned and yelled back, "I forgot to tell you! I'm also a lunch lady!"

Cow and Platypus blinked.

"I guess she's a nice lunch lady too," said Platypus.

And that's how Cow and Platypus considered The Lunch Librarian nice.

Cow and Platypus

Out of a clear blue sky, a drop of butter once landed on a cow's nose.

"What's this?!" said the cow.

"Oh, the sun is a waffle," said a passing platypus, "It occasionally drips butter and syrup."

"Then why did cream land on my tail yesterday?"

"That was the mashed potato clouds."

"Hey!" said the cow, "You're a platypus! How am I talking to you?!"

"You're standing next to a river," said the platypus calmly.

"Fancy, I never saw it there before," said the cow.

The cow and the platypus looked at each other and wondered what to say next. It was awkward. Suddenly, the cow tripped on a flower and fell in the river. This resulted in the following dialog:

"Oh dear are stupid flower you alright well I didn't you'd think know a cow could be flowers more delicate were so resilient well they say strength lies in beautLOOKOUTAROCK! AHHHHH! *SPLASH* heeheehEEHEEHAheeHEHAHAHAHA!"

Lady Night had ate up the sun before they could speak "properly."

"I am sorry*hic*for the tid*hic*al waves," said the cow.

"It's al*hic*right. I was wet*hic*anyhow*hic*," said the platypus.

"And I was*HIC*hot anyhow."

"HAH*HIC*HAHA*hic*HAHaheeheeheeeeeee"

And that's how Cow and Platypus became friends.