Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Salad Laughs

And now for a joke. Groaning is permitted.

What did the salad say before dinner?

Friday, November 26, 2010


Orange Friday is fall
Blue Friday is blue
Red Friday is hot
As a chimney-stack flue

Green Friday grows up
Gold Friday grows old
Friday in violet
Strikes conservative bold

Black Friday black
With plenty of red
There is and there isn't
Cause to stay in one's bed

Rainbows of Fridays
All colored to suit
Pick what you like
And gather your loot

Sunday, October 24, 2010


Words are like beads. You can string them along or just push them around with a pen and watch them sparkle suddenly.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Of White Rabbits

Once upon a time there was a white rabbit who lived under the spirea.
He sold delicious things like strawberry cake and lemonade cookies.
The bluebirds liked to buy his blueberry muffins.
This was because they were quite vain.
They were very fond of their beautiful blue feathers.
Consequently, they ate only blue things.
(The rabbit, wisely, did not eat only onigiri* and the insides of radishes.)

One day, the bluebirds went to buy blueberry muffins.
The rabbit was not there.
He was not anywhere.
Although puzzled, the birds decided he had gone on vacation.
He was still not back after two weeks, which was unacceptable.
The birds were tired of eating blue raspberry jello.
They decided to consult the wise green toad.
For, even though he was green, he was also bespectacled.

Why has the rabbit not returned from his vacation?
The bluebirds asked the wise green toad.
It was not a vacation, said the toad.
The Army! The Russians! The Klingons! tweedled the birds in a panic.
Silly birds! It is a common occurrence with rabbits.
Said a passing girl named Alice.
The wise green toad blinked his four large eyes in agreement and said,
Hare today, gone tomorrow.

*Japanese rice ball

Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Gnomes

     Once upon a time there were two gnomes who lived in a stump beside the garden. They were named Charlie and Apple. Charlie had a yellow hat and Apple had a red hat. They were quite ordinary gnomes and did ordinary things like roll apples across the yard and turn them into pies. This particularly fine and ordinary day they decided to go for a walk down the alley behind the garden. At the end of the alley they met a black cat who was selling bow ties. Charlie bought a yellow bow tie to match his hat and Apple bought a red bow tie to match his hat.

     Having bought their bow ties and therefore now having the opportunity to look distinguished, Charlie and Apple decided to have a party. They invited their friend Celery, who wore a green hat and Apple's cousin, Purple Hat. Charlie and Apple showed Celery and Purple Hat their bow ties and Celery and Purple Hat said that they were very nice ones. Afterwards, they all had apple pie with whipped cream and sat on the roof of the house to watch the stars come out.

The End.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A Memory

     After supper, my brothers and I run outside into the backyard. The air moves sluggishly as we sit in the dark shadow of the house drawing pictures in the dust. A ripe summer sun slips behind the trees and we make a mad dash for the swings as the first cool breeze brushes our hair. Creaks of objection exhale from the swing-set as we swing higher and higher. We let go and seem to fly before landing with a thud on packed dirt.

     In the clear sky the stars peep out and the moon displays its Cheshire grin. We begin to swing slower and slower, talking of the world and spinning the stories of our future. The crickets leisurely join the stars in song. It soon fills the air. My father comes out of the house to listen. "Time to come in!" His voice cuts through the twilight. Complaining, we trudge inside to the reality of bedtime.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Shelving Books

The experience of shoving books into their appropriate positions blithely unaware of the absence of the necessary bookend has now been chronicled in pretend piano for your empathetic ear.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

The Rabbit and the Mice

Another very random limerick.

There was a cold rabbit who cried
Oh! What has become of my hide?!
     He said to the mice
     Afraid of the ice
In the future I won't let you ride.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Rolling Orange

Once upon a time
there was an orange.
The orange rolled across the grass
until it bumped into an orange tree.
Then it stopped and did nothing
because it was an orange.

The End.

But is it?

The orange flew through the air
and kissed a different orange hanging on the orange tree.
The oranges spun and
sailed into a rose bush.
Then the orange and orangette
sat by each other until the end of time.

The Beginning.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Lunchtime Fruit

"This orange looks like a pear." he said, as he sat down and ate two. 

 ("He" is my father and he did say those words, but he ate only one.)

Friday, April 30, 2010

The Unborn

Something a little more serious...

This is to those who are not yet birthed,
   not yet able to stand.
This is to those who are not yet present,
   not yet able to choose.
This is to those who are the future,
   are the hope of our land.
This is to those who are held without rights,
   are destined the battle of life to lose.
This is to those for whom the barren hope,
   for whom the childless ache to hold.
This is to those who, for pleasure, have been wrought,
   for pure convenience, discarded.
This is to those who would have been the saviors of mankind,
   would have been the doctors to find the cures.
This is to those who would have been the heroes of our country,
   would have been the ones to give their lives.

This is to those thousands of unborn children,
   to those millions of knife-wounded hearts.
This is to those opportunities lost,
   to those little ones' aborted lives.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Beans and Cornbread

This one "came to me" tonight.

Beans and cornbread taste so good!
Beans and cornbread yes you should!
Beans and cornbread dig right in!
Beans and cornbread on your chin!
Beans and cornbread are so neat!
Beans and cornbread what a treat!
Beans and cornbread yum yum yum!
Beans and cornbread in your tum!

Now then, if you didn't read that in a sing-song-happy-thought-voice you have failed. Please try again.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

The Lecture

During college, as a ministry student, I was required to attend a series of lectures every year. I was fortunate that I never happened to be taking classes that required me to write a paper over these lectures. Or perhaps it was unfortunate, since I then had no motivation to take notes. One year in particular, I doodled, invented a font for Elvish and wrote this limerick about two friends who were sitting next to me.

There once was a speaker that spoke.
He wasn't much like other folk.
     This saying was said
     By a guy named David
But Liz shushed him and gave him a poke.

Thursday, April 22, 2010


I feel that it is appropriate to christen this blog with one of the first poems I ever wrote. It is a limerick I created in sixth grade for a school assignment. The limerick is my favorite type of poem. I love their bouncy feel and surprise endings.

There once was a young girl named Pat.
She would not wipe her feet on the mat.
     One day she came in
     And found she couldn't win
When she got mud all over her cat.